Spirit
Having trouble finding my spirit lately. A couple months ago I finally was able to purchase a new camera for myself, to keep around with me from day to day. It was stolen from me, or lost, the details are hazy, but a month into having a new X100V around it chose a different path than one by my side. Then a lens on my iPhone camera cracked and I felt deceived by fate somehow. Cheated of what I try pursue so passionately.
It’s tempting to blame it on luck, karma, or some some other divine unbalance but really Its more a reflection of my state of mind. We’re all coming into this year shaken up, I realize my story is not particularly unique and there is comfort in that, I think. I still have so much to share, just no time to compile. Only hope, and damn it, I do still somehow find ways to add levity to each day. Balance out the nagging weight of the darkness in the well. I’m not writing for sympathy, I really am here to share a new photo and pass along an update for the devoted few who still check in on this page from time to time.
I will be getting a replacement for the X100V soon, I will be repairing my phone, but these feelings are sticky. Not a day passes where a song, a light, a photograph, or an opinion, doesn’t leave me ready to tuck myself into a corner and write about it, share it, collaborate with you all, but time is steam and clouds aren’t taking shape all that well lately. But they will come, and I can’t wait.
The hour I am stealing this morning to write and share something of an update here is the first I have had to myself in as long as I can remember and I am happy to be here reflecting on my state of mind because I know I’m not the only one out there with heavy hands. I want to pad my posts here with more than these downer updates so how about next time I sneak in with a bit more sunshine.
Raise a glass with me, download this photo of a little sprouting leaf and get ready to grow. We’ll do it together. Cheers.
Cheers to that!
Thanks for the great image, and sorry to hear about the camera and iPhone. Don’t feel bad for posting how you’re really feeling when it’s not all roses – it’s good to get it out, and it helps others too. I’d rather read you keeping it real here than be over browsing the “eternal sunshine of the spotless instagram”.
Cheers!
Posting news is also about moving forward, thanks fort that. I hesitate to buy an X100v too.
Hi John! It has been a tough year in many ways, and I would say, more tough than last year. Sorry to hear you are having trouble finding your spirit. I hope the new camera brings with it enough novelty to make you look for spirit in new places. A new lens, literary or figurative, changes the perspective. And we are all in desperate need of recalibrating.